Apparently Glee is going to be doing a show featuring a couple of Meat's songs 
They did a Rocky Horror episode, and Meat and Tim Curry made cameo appearances, but I just couldn't bring myself to see it
We were discussing on the ML forum how watered down Paradise (which is being murdered on the show) will be, so I ended up writting alternative lyrics for a Glee version.
I don't want to admit how long I spent on it
but I thought i'd share it here to make me feel like it was worthwhile Boy:
I remember every little thing
I only left puberty yesterday
Riding to the lake
on my favourite brand new bright red trike
And I never had a girl
Looking any sweeter than you did
And all the kids at school
They were also engaged on non sexual activity that night
And now our bodies are a respectable distance apart
cause to go all the way just wouldn’t be smart
and i’m being kinda careful not to invade your space
to do that would be in pretty bad taste
C'mon! Let's be friends
C'mon! till the end
And it's warm and fizzy in the deep dark night
I'm glad I found this space for my bright red trike
Girl:
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we're barely in our teens
And we're sensibly dressed
Ain't no doubt about it
Got to dance, sing and shout about it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Boy:
Cause we were barely in our teens
And modestly dressed
Baby did you hear me sing
a song from Rocky Horror Picture Show
I like to take great songs from musicals
then water them the heck right down
But if you listen to it now
No you're never gonna regret it
So open up your ears it won't even offend old dears
It's all morally right
Cause I know transvestites really makes you frown
And now our bodies are fairly near and loose
in 20 years or so you might be ready to smooch
And we're holding hands,we're singing and we're ready to dance
But you know you'll never get to see inside of my pants
C'mon! let's pinky shake
C'mon! it's really great
Though it's warm and friendly in the deep dark night
I gotta peddle home by six on my bright red trike
Though it's warm and friendly in the deep dark night
Half an hour till I ride my trike.
Improvise what you can
And let your Glee teacher do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely in our teens
And we were barely--
We're gonna go sing and dance tonight
We're gonna go sing and dance
Cause it feels so darn nice
We're gonna be real good friends tonight
We're gonna be real good friends
An tonight's the night...
We're gonna repect each others boundaries tonight
We're gonna repect each others boundaries
Cause that's only right
We're not going to try and do anything ikky tonight
We're not going to try and do anything ikky
No way tonight...
Radio Broadcast:
Ok, here we go, we got a real no pressure situation going here, two down,
NOBODY ON!
NOBODY!
NO SCORE.
NADA?
ZIP!
I’M TALKING NIL PWOINT HERE PEOPLE
About half past 5, there's the halftime milk and cookies
Look at that cookie guy go
He’s such a nice guy
He's going round first and really looking after the home team
now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try go round with seconds
the’re’s some jelly with a grape in the center,
and here comes the milk, and what a nice jug
He's gonna serve the coach first, here he comes, he's out!
No, wait, coach’s back and he’s been given cookies and hot milk
, this kid really makes things not happen out there.
Batter steps up to the plate, here's the sandwich
he's going, and what a jump he's got on the queue, he's trying
for a third, but doesn’t went to spoil his dinner, he drops it, it's in the dirt--
litter at third! Holy cow, soggy paste!
He's taking a pretty big risk, almost daring the cookie guy to tick him off.
The pitcher glance over, drinks up, and it's skimmed, SKIMMED
Down the hatch and over the gums, look out tummy here it comes
The halftime is nearly over
here's the plastic cup throw, there's the bin for the paper plates,
holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!
Girl:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further--!
Do you like me?
Will you like me forever?
Do you respect me?
never letch over me?
Will you help me stage a musical or ten every year
But when it comes to getting freaky that you’ll never come near
Will you be friendly
But not over friendly
Do you know what I mean
This week we’ll mess with Meat Loaf
Next week we’ll screw Queen
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you like me!!!?
Will you like me forever!!!?
Boy:
That sounds fine by me
Baby, baby that sounds fine by me
That sounds fine by me
Don’t need to wait to answer in the morning
That’s OK by me
Really really it’s OK by me
That’s OK by me
I’ll never ask you to stay until the morning
Cause I respect you lots
And really really really“heart” you lots
Don’t need to sleep on it
Don’t need to give you an answer in the morning
Girl:
I gotta know right now!
Can we snuggle?
Can we snuggle forever?
Do you need me?
Will you be my fella?
Do you promise you’ll never think of me in a sexual way
That you’ll never make a drunken pass for the sake of a lay
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you like me?
And will you like me forever?
What’s it going to be boy?
Come on, i’ve got a 8:30 curfew
What’s it going to be boy?
Yes?
Or....
No?
Boy:
That sounds great to me
Really really really good to me
It sounds great to me
I don’t need to tell you in the morning
Don’t need to sleep on it
Girl:
Will you like me forever?
Boy:
Let need to sleep on it
Girl:
Will you be my fella?
Boy:
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was indifferent
And when the feeling came upon me
Making me feel kinda “meh...”
I didn’t swear because it’s naughty, but said you’d always be mine
That I would like you to the end of time
And now i’ll write you a romantic rhyme
So now we’re happy till the end of time
And now I just gotta jive
Cause if I didn’t do a cast album with you
I really really wouldn’t wanna survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
BUT LOOK THE SIZE MY TESTICALS HAVE SWOLLEN TO NOW!
We’re happy to the end of time
And what’s more you can bet, bet, bet
That we’re going to the top of the charts with this sickly sweet duet.
Boy:
It was just last week
not very far away
if I don’t tap that soon
well that’s OK
Girl:
It didn’t feel so good
And it never will
If he thinks he’s getting laid
Then he’s been poppin a pill
