5 things to be found in heaven.Westies.Although, i'm convinced that as soon as he died, Clipper marched on hell, kicked Satan's ass off the throne (making Satan his bitch) and now rules high in hell.
If you ever get to hell you'll see a little white Westie sitting on a throne of skulls in front of cutains of flame.
Whatever you do, don't try to pet him. He's my little brother
So either way i'm covered for Westie company.
A bar.Not just any bar, the most awesome bar in creation.
The universe is fuelled by the ammount of pure AWESOME there is on the stage.
I will do shots with Roy Orbison and then go and jam with him.
Jeff Healey will make the angels exclaim "fuck me" with his guitar prowess.
Hendrix will blow God's mind.
Mozart will conduct the backing orchestra.
Wagner will write music for the electric guitar and blow Hendix's mind.
Robbie Williams will be there. He'll be the dude who empties the bins and cleans the bogs.
He was very lucky to get the gig.
Busy Lizzie's chip shop.When I used to come home from sea my brother would pick me up in Newcastle and drive me home to Liverpool.
We'd always go to Skipton to Busy Lizzie's on the way.
Best fish and chips EVER!
Fact!.
Once I was into my last month on the ship i'd start looking forward to that meal.
Busy Lizzie's will be next door to the bar.
They will deliver.
DVD's that i've bought, and actually feel like watching.You might love a film.
You might watch it every time in comes on the telly.
But then you buy it on DVD.
You watch it once and never watch the bloody thing ever again.
The only time you have any interest in seeing that film is when it comes on the telly, and you sit there like a prize plank watching it on the TV being interupted every 20 minutes with a 5 min advert break instead of putting the DVD you paid good money for into the machine and seeing it without all the breaks.
It's peverse. There'll be none of that in heaven.
Playboy mansion.The only minor difference is that i'd live there instead of Hugh Heffner.
There would be many many beautiful women in residence. Joanne would be my queen, naturally.
Things would get freaky
There would be Chipendales.
They would be there to serve drinks and suffer the cruel mocking laughter of the gorgeous women who inhabit my domicile who silivate with lust everytime I happen by in my ermine cloak and crown