Ever had anyone take a dislike to you for no reason?

[Bee Gees Fan]

I only know of one instance where this has happened to me. The person I am speaking of is someone that I only met on a few occasions and he hardly knows me at all. A couple of times I tried to start a conversation with him but he wasn't overly responsive. I found out later on that he had never liked me from day one, despite the fact that he barely knew me, had hardly spoken to me, and that I had done absolutely nothing to him.

He's a horrible, stupid, thuggish old troglodyte anyway, so I don't suppose it really matters in the long run. When I was first told that he'd never liked me, I couldn't help feeling a bit annoyed, though. I did nothing at all to him and he didn't even take the time to try to get to know me. It must have just been one of those things where he looked at me and made up his mind that he didn't like me, for no reason whatsoever.

There have been times, in my life, when I have looked at people and thought, for some reason, that I don't like them very much. It happens - I'm not sure why, it's not something that I am proud of. However, when this happens with me, I take time to get to know this particular person and talk with them, and am friendly towards them - and I find that my initial, irrational feeling vanishes.

It just irritates me when people decide they don't like a person without bothering to get to know them and find out anything about them, and for absolutely no reason. If I had done anything wrong to this person, that would be different, but I hadn't. So it's just silly in my view.

[Dorset Girl]

He's a horrible, stupid, thuggish old troglodyte anyway

How do you know that if you don't really know him? He's made a snap judgement about you, but it seems that you've done exactly the same thing about him.

[Bee Gees Fan]

How do you know that if you don't really know him? He's made a snap judgement about you, but it seems that you've done exactly the same thing about him.

No, I haven't - he did something unkind to me. I don't want to go into it, but suffice to say he was very rude and unpleasant in this incident, verging on being bullying.

Before this, I had no problem with him - he seemed a little grumpy to me, but apart from that, I had no bad feelings towards him.

However, after the incident in which he behaved very nastily towards me, I don't like him one bit.

[Dorset Girl]

No, I haven't - he did something unkind to me. I don't want to go into it, but suffice to say he was very rude and unpleasant in this incident, verging on being bullying.

Before this, I had no problem with him - he seemed a little grumpy to me, but apart from that, I had no bad feelings towards him.

However, after the incident in which he behaved very nastily towards me, I don't like him one bit.

But you said he's stupid - do you know that he has a low IQ, or are you just attributing that to him because it's a negative thing, and you don't like him?

You said he's thuggish - do you mean in appearance, or attitude? If it's attitude, have you spent enough time with him to know that's really the case?

Do you know for a fact that he treats you differently from other new people he meets, or could it be that he's shy and awkward when meeting others, and that comes across as rudeness?

[Mr Blue Sky]

he did something unkind to me. I don't want to go into it, but suffice to say he was very rude and unpleasant in this incident, verging on being bullying.

Where have I heard that before...

Let's face it, you do get very oversensitive about certain things BGF. He was probably a thoroughly decent chap who you just took a dislike to, or more likely, you did something to piss him off but were completely unaware you were doing it, so can't understand why he doesn't like you.

[Bee Gees Fan]

But you said he's stupid - do you know that he has a low IQ, or are you just attributing that to him because it's a negative thing, and you don't like him?

All right, I admit the "stupid" one is because he was nasty to me. If someone is unpleasant to me, then yes, I will think some negative stuff about them. Usually it has some grounding in what I've experienced, though. He did make some grammatical errors during this incident (he was bullying me over the phone) and didn't pronounce certain words properly.

You said he's thuggish - do you mean in appearance, or attitude? If it's attitude, have you spent enough time with him to know that's really the case?

I mean thuggish in attitude, and by that I simply meant in the way he treated me that time. He was horrible to me.

The woman he was in a relationship has just recently broken it off with him. She posted about him in one of her facebook statuses, recently (she was feeling low at the time) and described him as "a grumpy, argumentative, self-opinionated, have-to-be-right all the time old man who treats women like dirt." I know that he and she have been having numerous arguments throughout their year-long relationship, and there were times when he behaved badly and apparently didn't treat her well.

I somewhat see your point, but, since this gentleman was very unkind to me on this occasion (he really upset me, in fact) and basically bullied me and was very rude - I do have some justification for having a negative opinion of him.

Whereas I have never done anything him, so he has no justification whatsoever for taking a dislike to me.

[CatNamedRudy]

Nobody ever dislikes somebody for "no" reason. Whether you agree with the reason or not is up to you but there is always a reason.

[Mr Blue Sky]

You're right Cat. BGF obviously isn't aware of how she comes across sometimes.

Also, you keep going on about being bullied BGF. I'm fairly certain now that you have no idea whatsoever of what bullying actually is. It's quite common at school as you're in a position you can't escape from (you can't avoid going to school) and some kids are easily picked on. That's genuine, and can make your life a living hell. It's also quite common in the workplace where people in positions of power abuse their position to make life very difficult for a person beneath them for their own amusement/pleasure. Again, unless you can afford to just quit your job this is a very difficult position to escape from.

But online? Give me a break! No one forces you to go online or chat to people on the phone etc. You're only being bullied if you are forced to endure a situation that there's no way out of. Basically what seems to happen with you is that you have no idea how to deal with people who take a dislike to you and you make yourself an easy target. You need to grow up a bit and learn how to deal with these situations on your own without blubbing about it as not everyone in this world will take a shine to you and make life easy.

[Moon-Crane]

People make snap judgements about others, but i probably wouldn't mistake the feeling of 'couldn't give a shit about' with 'dislike'. Of course, some people may get a feeling of being disliked when someone who couldn't give a shit mentions that they've had a gut full of listening to things that they couldn't give a shit about from people they couldn't give a shit about. It may even grow into an actual dislike if there's no let up.

[CatNamedRudy]

The thing is that people always think they've "done" something for people to dislike them. The old "What did I ever do to you?" question. Fact is, you don't have to do anything or someone else doesn't have to "do" anything. Sometimes it's just that a person is overpowering or overbearing. Or talks too much or maybe you just don't like the sound of someone's voice or they just don't like the sound of your voice. There's a guy at the cigar store that I absolutley cannot stand. I cringe just about every time he opens his mouth. Now, this guy has never done anything to me specifically. I just think he's an ass. He treats his wife like shit and he thinks he's entitled to everything on the planet just for existing.

Like I said, there's ALWAYS a reason!

[Lil]

Like I said, there's ALWAYS a reason!

Yup. People dislike me 'cause they're jealous that I'm awesome.

[CatNamedRudy]

Like I said, there's ALWAYS a reason!

Yup. People dislike me 'cause I'm awesome.

People who are angry all the time dislike me because I make them laugh and it messes with their anger!

[Stratman]

I typically hate people that use the word troglodyte too.

[Lil]

Like I said, there's ALWAYS a reason!

Yup. People dislike me 'cause I'm awesome.

People who are angry all the time dislike me because I make them laugh and it messes with their anger!

See Cat, some people can't stand that we rock so much.

[CatNamedRudy]

Sometimes it's really a tough row to hoe being awesome isn't it Lil? Where's Barney? We need his input on how stressful it can be to always be awesome!

[Dorset Girl]

Sometimes it's really a tough row to hoe being awesome isn't it Lil? Where's Barney? We need his input on how stressful it can be to always be awesome!

*Sigh* You guys live in a different (more awesome) world.

[Lil]

Sometimes it's really a tough row to hoe being awesome isn't it Lil? Where's Barney? We need his input on how stressful it can be to always be awesome!

It really is! People don't understand how exhausting it is being fabulous.

[Bee Gees Fan]

Like I said, there's ALWAYS a reason!

Well, maybe so, but would you agree that some reasons are better, or more valid, than others? Whereas some other "reasons" that people come up with can be just plain silly.

[Bee Gees Fan]

Let's face it, you do get very oversensitive about certain things BGF. He was probably a thoroughly decent chap who you just took a dislike to, or more likely, you did something to piss him off but were completely unaware you were doing it, so can't understand why he doesn't like you.

You don't know the situation, though, and I can tell you that what you say here is completely incorrect.

He was wrong to treat me the way he did. My friend (who gets along well with this particular gentleman and likes him) agreed that how he treated me was wrong and that he shouldn't have done it.

[Mr Blue Sky]

Let's face it, you do get very oversensitive about certain things BGF. He was probably a thoroughly decent chap who you just took a dislike to, or more likely, you did something to piss him off but were completely unaware you were doing it, so can't understand why he doesn't like you.

You don't know the situation, though, and I can tell you that what you say here is completely incorrect.

He was wrong to treat me the way he did. My friend (who gets along well with this particular gentleman and likes him) agreed that how he treated me was wrong and that he shouldn't have done it.

We can only go on what you've told us, but from evertyhing you've said so far I'd like to buy the bloke a beer.

[Bee Gees Fan]

We can only go on what you've told us, but from evertyhing you've said so far I'd like to buy the bloke a beer.

Well, if you feel that way, then fine. All I'm saying is that he was very rude to me and he didn't treat his partner well either, which is probably why she ended their relationship. According to her, he treats women badly, and she's apparently been happier since they broke up.

[CatNamedRudy]

Like I said, there's ALWAYS a reason!

Well, maybe so, but would you agree that some reasons are better, or more valid, than others? Whereas some other "reasons" that people come up with can be just plain silly.

It doesn't matter what the reason is. No reason is more valid than any other reason.

[Bee Gees Fan]

It doesn't matter what the reason is. No reason is more valid than any other reason.

I would disagree there, because I have seen instances of where people make up their minds they dislike people for what I personally would term silly, or superficial, reasons. Suppose, for instance, that a person decided they disliked someone because they wore a style of clothing that the person wasn't fond of. I suppose to them, it's a reason not to like that person, but it would be a pretty silly reason in my view.

The same thing if someone decided they didn't like someone based, say, on the colour of their skin. In my opinion, silly.

So while I see that maybe it's true that people might have some form of reasoning, I do feel that some people's reasonings can be irrational and superficial and less valid than others.

[Moon-Crane]

It doesn't matter what the reason is. No reason is more valid than any other reason.

I would disagree there, because I have seen instances of where people make up their minds they dislike people for what I personally would term silly, or superficial, reasons.

There's your key part of the sentence. I don't believe anyone thinks their own reasoning is silly or superficial. Probably why you can do a breadth of courses on philosophy, ethics, etc.

[CatNamedRudy]

Yeah, what MC said. YOU might think the reasons are silly but to the person who feels them they aren't. YOU may feel it's ridiculous to dislike someone because of their race or their sexual preference or because they happen to wear striped shirts with plaid pants. To someone else, those may seem like perfectly good reasons.