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The All-New Joke Thread

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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby welshben23 » Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:52 pm

Why is B.A. Baracus hungry?

Because he's missed a tea.


What cheese can you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone
.
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby woggle » Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:21 pm

:D

Winter is here & our native birds are finding food scarce. Please go to the pet shop & buy a bag of nuts for our featherd friends . There is no finer sight on a winters morning than a pair of tits around a nut sack . Just remember however its a bit early in the year to expect a swallow !
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby CatNamedRudy » Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:47 pm

woggle wrote::D

Winter is here & our native birds are finding food scarce. Please go to the pet shop & buy a bag of nuts for our featherd friends . There is no finer sight on a winters morning than a pair of tits around a nut sack . Just remember however its a bit early in the year to expect a swallow !


:lol:
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby cassius » Wed Nov 10, 2010 11:51 pm

Lol !
:)
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby woggle » Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:57 pm

This is joke group i joined on FB that made me titter -

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's colin.

LOL!
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby Hans the German Butler » Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:31 pm

I heard Al Qaeda are startingto plant bombs in tins of Alphabet Spaghetti - If one goes off it could spell disaster.
ROZ: It's not like she worships the Devil
FRASIER: She doesn't need to, he worships her!
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby CatNamedRudy » Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:59 pm

Hans the German Butler wrote:I heard Al Qaeda are startingto plant bombs in tins of Alphabet Spaghetti - If one goes off it could spell disaster.


:lol:
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby CatNamedRudy » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:00 pm

woggle wrote:This is joke group i joined on FB that made me titter -

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's colin.

LOL!


:lol:
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby woggle » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:48 pm

Hans the German Butler wrote:I heard Al Qaeda are startingto plant bombs in tins of Alphabet Spaghetti - If one goes off it could spell disaster.


:D :lol:
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby welshben23 » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:53 pm

A family are stuck behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry on the M1 when a massive dildo comes flying out of the back and hits the windscreen. The Mother, to hide her embarrasment says to the Children "my, that was a big insect". To which the 7 year old son says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock that size".

How do you titillate an ocelot?

Spoiler: show
Oscillate its tit a lot
.
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby woggle » Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:00 pm

:lol: love it benny !! will try and remember them both as my neighbour will find them hilarious!
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby cassius » Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:33 pm

welshben23 wrote:A family are stuck behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry on the M1 when a massive dildo comes flying out of the back and hits the windscreen. The Mother, to hide her embarrasment says to the Children "my, that was a big insect". To which the 7 year old son says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock that size".

How do you titillate an ocelot?

Spoiler: show
Oscillate its tit a lot
.


LMAO!!!
:D

Wish I knew some jokes suitable for this site.. < thinks >
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby barnaclelapse » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:18 pm

(Smacks)

Bad joke! No biscuit!

Lmao.
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby Dorset Girl » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:22 pm

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.
I know they're only moments... but that's all life is - just a bunch of moments. Molly, in 'Life Stinks'
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby CatNamedRudy » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:49 pm

Dorset Girl wrote:Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.


:lol:

I need to find a little kid to tell this joke to!
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby Dorset Girl » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:57 pm

It's a reflection of my mental age. :lol:
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby CatNamedRudy » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:05 pm

Dorset Girl wrote:It's a reflection of my mental age. :lol:


Well it totally cracked me up! So I guess it's a reflection of my mental age too! :D
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby cassius » Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:11 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the rave was in the other field.

< howling wind and spinifex tumbling by >
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby kat » Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:15 pm

Apple have teamed up with Fernando Alonso to create a search engine, it's called iBrowse

*F1 joke*
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby woggle » Fri Nov 19, 2010 11:35 pm

Dorset Girl wrote:Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.


Totaly just made me laugh out loud! :D
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby woggle » Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:56 pm

Benny this one is just for you-

what does a Liverpool fan do after they win the league? .. turn off the PlayStation and go to bed! :D
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby kat » Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:01 pm

woggle wrote:Benny this one is just for you-

what does a Liverpool fan do after they win the league? .. turn off the PlayStation and go to bed! :D


may have to send that to my mate spenny, will shut him up for a while
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby welshben23 » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:48 am

woggle wrote:Benny this one is just for you-

what does a Liverpool fan do after they win the league? .. turn off the PlayStation and go to bed! :D


:shock: Mr BS, Hans, a little bit of help here please! :lol:
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby Dorset Girl » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:53 am

Just substitute 'Liverpool' for a team name of your choice, and tell Woggle that was the original joke! :D
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Re: The All-New Joke Thread

Postby welshben23 » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:55 am

Dorset Girl wrote:Just substitute 'Liverpool' for a team name of your choice, and tell Woggle that was the original joke! :D


:D Let me think. The original joke mentioned Arsenal and also said 'Champions League' rather than league.
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