From esarcasm.com:
Apple Sues God, Says Fruit Too Similar to Logo
Apple isn’t stopping with Woolworths, it seems: The company is now suing God over the similarity between the apple fruit and its own apple-based logo.
The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.
Apple Trademark LawsuitApple announced plans on Monday to sue God, citing “intense similarities” between the apple fruit and the company’s trademarked logo.
“We’ve become increasingly aware of the apple’s resemblance to the Apple logo,” a rare statement from Apple explained. “In attempting to locate the fruit’s designer, numerous documents have pointed us to God, so we decided to pursue our legal action in that direction.”
Apple’s new lawsuit comes on the heels of the company’s challenge against Woolworths Supermarkets, also made public on Monday. The grocery chain had recently revealed a new logo featuring a “W” stylized into the shape of an apple — a design Apple once again claims is too similar to its own. In both the argument against Woolworths and the one against God, Apple says the similarities could lead to consumer confusion.
Apple - Woolworths“Look, clearly no other company, organization, or entity has the right to use that incredibly common shape in any way,” legal analyst Bill Loney tells eSarcasm. “I mean, do Woolworths and God have any idea who they’re messing with here?”
Indeed, Apple has kicked and screamed over its exclusive right to the apple shape plenty of times before. The company famously fought with The Beatles for nearly three decades over their usage of the symbol. Last year, Apple cried out when the city of New York created an apple-based logo for its GreeNYC campaign. And right now, Apple is reportedly taking action against at least two other organizations, one of which is an Australian pornography provider whose logo includes an apple with an arrow and a devil’s tail.
eSarcasm has learned Apple’s next targets may include the Little Apple Grocery and Deli in Manzanita, Oregon; the St. Peter’s Episcopal Church Apple Festival in Monroe, Connecticut; and the Hansen Orchards in Grove, Tasmania. The lawsuit against God, not surprisingly, is expected to trump all of those cases in both publicity and potential consequences. Experts expect the battle to reach the “highest courts possible,” though they weren’t completely clear on what exactly that meant.
God was not immediately available to comment on the matter. A spokesperson, however, promised the allegations would be taken seriously — despite, he said, the fact that they came from “an overrated company with one hell of a God complex.”
