Can a relationship just end?

[PistolPoet]

This may be a bit more appropriate for the "Off Topic" forum, but I thought it might provoke some Frasier discussion.

In Desperately Seeking Closure, Sam breaks up with Frasier and says that sometimes, things just end. I've always had a hard time believing that, and I've always been on Frasier's side when he attempts to get the others to list his flaws. They'd been in a relationship for two months; that's not a long time, but Frasier didn't do anything that would put Sam off, and I don't think it's possible to stop being attracted to someone overnight. And by the end of the episode, we find out that Sam was having commitment problems, therefore there was a reason she broke up with him.

(Also, I found it a little strange that Niles said, "The relationship ended, that's what happened." He's a psychiatrist, he believes that there are no accidents, so imo it would be more suitable if he'd said, "Maybe it wasn't anything you did or said, maybe she has some issues.")

Anyway, I felt it's one of the situations in Frasier that translates well into real life. Have you ever been in a similar situation? Ever broken up with someone because things "just ended"?

[Patrick]

Sometimes it appears sudden because the relationship has been hanging by a thread for a long time. People discover flaws in their sexual partners and they decide to tolerate them because of the qualities that they find as well, but one flaw too many and it's more than you can stand, the last straw so to speak.

It's like when someone dies of a heart attack, sometimes it has been brewing for years and the person decided to ignore the warning signs and then...

[PistolPoet]

Sure, yeah, but if the breakup had been looming for a long time, I guess the person who breaks up wouldn't say "it just ended, don't try to search for reasons"...

[CatNamedRudy]

I tend to agree that there is always a reason. To just unceremoniously dump somebody and not give them a reason is just cowardly. Generally, it means "I'm sick of you but I'm too chicken to say so!"

[Eddie2012]

In a long term relationship, yes. But after you dated for just two month (and given her high profile job, time was surely limited in those 2 month)? You meet someone, you are attracted to him, you start dating and having fun – and one day you look at him and realise it’s just not happening (staying attracted, falling in love) and you lose interest, sometimes without knowing why exactly. You just can’t put a finger on it, but it is not working out. Of course it would be nice to be able to give a concrete reason, but not necessarily always possible. Or would the above perhaps already count as enough reason?

[CatNamedRudy]

The above would be a reason for me. "We just don't click" or whatever the case may be. In Frasier's case though you know that wouldn't be enough. He needs to know WHY they don't click. Though he didn't give Claire any such explanation when he just dumped her out of the blue. I believe he simply told her "It's not working." (when in truth, he wanted to be with Lana but he wasn't about to tell Claire that).

[PistolPoet]

In a long term relationship, yes. But after you dated for just two month (and given her high profile job, time was surely limited in those 2 month)? You meet someone, you are attracted to him, you start dating and having fun – and one day you look at him and realise it’s just not happening (staying attracted, falling in love) and you lose interest, sometimes without knowing why exactly. You just can’t put a finger on it, but it is not working out. Of course it would be nice to be able to give a concrete reason, but not necessarily always possible. Or would the above perhaps already count as enough reason?

Yeah, I think it would be a good enough reason. It would be better if the person doing the breaking up could do some soul-searching and find exactly what's not working, but in a "young" relationship it isn't always easy to see thngs clearly when you don't know the other person very well.
In that case, Sam saying, "I just don't feel the same way about us any more" should constitute a good enough explanation. Although it's still damn frustrating, and even more so because in the end it only took some persistence to change her mind. Ah, relationships are such a mess.