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What's your favorite Niles line ever?

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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:28 am

now that im with you, im find my self thinking of you (to daphne)
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Tue Oct 11, 2011 2:15 am

still got it
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby PAHeseltine » Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:59 pm

You KNOW you had the good bed.
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Dr Arnold Shaw » Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:46 am

I would be hear all day, but to pick one, I'll go with...

"It might be a bit underdone as he has trouble reaching the knobs" in describing Eddie's meal for his "Dinner Party"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby DHPfan » Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:59 am

'Cherry bark and almonds..'
Niles: As some illustrious person once said, popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity.
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Scrambled Salad » Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:19 pm

I don't think I saw it but even if it's here already:

NOBODY CALLS ME PEACHFUZZ
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:47 pm

we were married just 3 short years later
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Allison Chains » Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:10 am

Another one: From Travels with Martin

Niles: "Frasier you're my brother, that entitles you to my bone marrow and one of my kidneys, but THIS is an imposition!" :lol:
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Sideshow Bob » Sat Mar 03, 2012 10:25 pm

My two favourites:

Just after Niles separation.

Martin has a spare ticket for the horse racing, Frasier can't go so Martin offers them to Niles:

"No, I couldn't possibly. All those midgets wearing silks and wielding whips...... it would remind me too much of Maris......"


Frasier is desperately trying to contact Bebe and having no luck:

Niles: "I thought you just cast a pentangle on the ground and chanted 'I summon thee' three times?" :evil:
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby John2375 » Sun Apr 22, 2012 12:38 am

Wonderful to have found this forum!

I forget what he's talking about, but Niles is basically telling Frasier about a romantic movie he and Maris saw that obviously turned them both on..

Niles: "I dont' mind telling you.. we pushed our beds together that night!! Which is no mean feat - her bedroom as you know, is down the hall!"

.... that and "Niles gotta have it!" just the way he says that is outstanding.

I also love the moment when he orders something like a "double short, non-fat, low foam vanilla latte" and they keep shouting out the order down the line and getting it wrong.. finally they get it right and ask if he'd like cinnamon, to which Niles replies, "No thanks.. it inflames my stomach lining" and the coffee crew shouts "inflames his stomach lining!" down the line.. Niles just gives a great look LOL
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby John2375 » Sun Apr 22, 2012 12:59 am

The one where Niles is "accidentally" dating a prostitute, but thinks she's a lawyer.. Frasier confronts him and tells him, "Niles, Sabrina's a prostitute" to which Niles replies "Frasier, I don't like lawyers any more than you do."
PERFECT.DELIVERY.

Also, the one where Niles gave Maris an antique riding saddle, and the story he tells of why it didn't go over well..
Niles "I gave Maris her saddle last night.."
Frasier: "Oh.. she didn't like it?"
Niles " on the contrary, she loved it! She even treated me to a little Lady Godiva impression! .. Unfortunately, the oils in the saddle mixed badly with her cellulite cream and created a powerful epoxy.. it took an hour and a full bottle of nail polish remover to set her free. Poor thing can only get comfort by straddling a frozen butterball turkey."
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby StuckMuffin » Wed May 02, 2012 1:35 pm

I've got quite a few to share, some of which have been mentioned in incomplete form. I assure you I mean no disrespect in "finishing" or occasionally correcting these.

In Cafe Nervosa:
Niles: Can you believe the incompetence of that man? I very clearly asked for a whisper of cinnamon and he's given me a full-throated shout! There are countries in this world where they would lop off his sprinkling hand!
(You Can Go Home Again, Season 3)

On caring for a sack of flour to test his parenting ability:
Niles: Well, why not? It's the perfect week: Maris is away; I'm desperate to resolve the issue. Frasier! Where do you keep the flour? (Niles starts looking around the living room enthusiastically.)
Frasier: In the kitchen.
Niles: In the kitchen!
(Flour Child, Season 2)

Several days later:
(Niles turns his sack of flour to reveal two band-aids)
Frasier: Niles? I can't help noticing your child has a little boo-boo.
Niles: Oh! It's nothing. I was playing him some Brahms the other day - never too early to ingrain them. I guess I must have begun conducting with one of the gilded chopsticks Maris wears in her bun, and I accidentally ran him through.
Frasier: What young parent doesn't tell that story?
(Flour Child, Season 2)

And this wonderful exchange:
(Niles is wearing a harness with his flour child in it.)
Niles: If it makes you feel any better, I don't wear this in public. I just want to get the complete picture of parenthood.
Frasier: And?
Niles: It's driving me batty. (He sits down and accidentally bashes the flour child's "head" against the table.) Oh, the feedings every two hours, the constant monitoring where he is. I can see how parents can be obsessed with worry. Last night I actually had a dream that my flour sack was abducted and the kidnapper started sending me muffins in the mail! Well, on the plus side I've learned a lot, and I think if I ever am to go through the real thing I'll make quite a wonderful parent. (He removes his flour sack from the harness, revealing burn marks.)
Frasier: Niles, what has happened to your child?
Niles: I was practising my tai chi exercises this morning and I accidentally kicked him into the reflecting pool. That's when I brought him inside and left him by the hearth to dry.
Frasier: He caught on fire?
Niles: It was not as careless as you make it seem! After all, a real child would have cried before it burst into flames.
(Flour Child, Season 2)

Further regarding muffins:
Martin: Take my word for it - you're sticking a fork in a toaster.
Niles: Well, my muffin's stuck!
(Moon Dance, Season 3)

At Frasier's, unaware that Frasier is trying to keep his two girlfriends from meeting:
(Frasier tries to get Cassandra to leave, but she goes to the "powder room" instead.)
Frasier: This is a disaster!
Niles: What is?
(Faye comes out of Frasier's bedroom.)
Faye: Hi Niles!
Niles: Ooohh, I'm up to speed!
(When a Man Loves Two Women, Season 6)

On the phone, making and Frasier late for a squash date:
(Frasier and Niles are in the same room but Frasier, annoyed that Niles won't end his phone call, dials his number.)
Niles: Now Maris - hold on, it's my other line. Hello?
Frasier: Get the hell off the phone!
Niles: How rude!
Frasier: Please. Don't you realize it's also rude to be late for an appointment?
Niles: Oh, you are telling me about being late for an appointment?
(Frasier and Niles bicker unintelligibly.)
Frasier: Oh, forget it!
(Frasier hangs up.)
Niles: How dare you hang up on me?!
(Ask Me No Questions, Season 4)

Remember also that a lot of great Maris moments are delivered through Niles.

About dinner reservations:
Frasier: Will Maris be joining us?
Niles: Ooh, sadly no. She had a bad experience there one Christmas Eve. An Italian soccer team was at the next table, Maris announced she was in the mood for a goose and, perhaps inevitably, tragedy ensued.
(The Innkeepers, Season 2)
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Sat May 05, 2012 12:41 am

she is cumbly, in a backalley sort of way
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby davidgordon » Sat May 05, 2012 3:42 am

I;m surprised the trains even run on Frasier Crane day
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Sun May 06, 2012 1:03 am

i left all my frasier day cards to the last minute
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Sun May 06, 2012 12:14 pm

(to the cab driver who broke her water)
"make sure you park downhill"
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby StiltsInSeattle » Tue May 08, 2012 1:36 am

Season 11, Crock Tales
This was an awesome episode and well I liked these lines a lot, because he pined for her more than ever in his more sexually frustrated appearance.

Niles: She's an angel. You're right, Frasier. I'm being too morose.
I'm not taking action. [gets up] I'm telling Daphne I love
her, tonight!
Frasier: [grabs him] Niles, let's not be rash. Come on, come on,
let's get you some fresh air.
Niles: I don't want air, I want Daphne!

[I had to check the transcript so I just copied this bit because of it's awesome-inity. :lol:

Oh, Niles...
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Dr Arnold Shaw » Wed May 16, 2012 2:37 pm

"Then... I'll just rent an apartment and visit it on the side"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby John2375 » Thu May 17, 2012 6:47 am

Niles, telling Frasier he's been nominated for an award for some article he wrote for a psychiatric magazine.. telling him "It was a fascinating case-study about a narcissistic opera singer that I entitled Me Me Me Me Me"
LOL

How he ever delivered lines like that with a straight face.. I'll always be in complete admiration!
:)
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Thu May 17, 2012 11:52 am

i like to know what i want...before maris tells me
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Dr Arnold Shaw » Sat May 19, 2012 3:58 pm

Describing the chairman at the Empire Club in the episode The Club as "fuzzy"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Sun May 20, 2012 12:06 am

dames
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Mon May 21, 2012 4:57 pm

frasier " alright, give it to me

NILES: was that a quote from the dream?
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby tenpercenter » Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:33 pm

"how do you know frasier the crane is a psychiatrist? ... he ignores what you say and then sticks you with a large bill"
"blood is thicker than port. -
i stand corrected"
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Re: What's your favorite Niles line ever?

Postby Cat » Sat Jun 02, 2012 3:37 am

The one where they meet Sherry and she jokes around with them:

Sherry: I think laughter is the best medicine.

Niles: We must be in the placebo group.
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